At a Loss
by fangirling624
Summary: Post season 6 finale. Beware the heart wrenching pain guaranteed to ensue as well as some good old Castle mystery and humor. Interested in what one obsessed Castle fan thinks happened after that insane finale? Check out this fic!
1. Denial and Anger

Kate was in shock.

She stood there in her mother's wedding dress with a look of torturous bewilderment mangling her beautiful face. She had to focus on the things that she knew. There was a car in front of her. It was on fire. It was Castle's car. Was Castle in it? Was he?

"Ms. Beckett?" Kate slowly lifted her head to see a detective with an all too familiar look on his face.

"Was he in the car?"

The look on the man's face said it all. She finally cracked. Kate fell to the ground and immediately began to sob in heaves that shook her entire body. Castle was dead.

Martha and Alexis arrived moments later and when they saw Kate, they knew the worst had happened. Alexis froze as her whole world crashed down around her and she felt consumed by the flames that had just consumed her father. Martha helped Kate up and the three women held each other and sobbed relentlessly.

The detective began again, "Ms. Beckett, I'm detective Jefferson. I know this is a difficult time but I do need to ask you some questions."

Kate looked at the detective and thought to herself… _No, not again. I can't lose anyone else. First my mother, but not Castle. No. No. _She finally spoke and said very calmly, "He is not dead."

Martha and Alexis were confused by this statement but not as much as detective Jefferson. He simply replied, "Ms. Beckett is that not your fiancée's car?" He pointed a finger at the now smoldering hunk of metal.

"It is, but I know he wasn't in there. No way."

"Kate…" Martha placed a consoling hand on her shoulder and attempted to look in her eyes. Kate was having none of it.

She shook off her hand and stepped back. "Look detective, I know that is his car and there may even be a body in there but it is not Castle. Don't tell me it is until you're sure it's him. Run the dentals and you'll see it's not him." Kate was raising her voice with every statement.

The detective simply nodded and turned to Martha and Alexis. He handed them his card and said, "I will let you know when I hear something. Until then, if you need anything give me a call."

Kate just stalked away angry. Angry at the detective for assuming Castle was dead. Angry at Castle for not being there. And most of all angry at the universe for putting her through this again.

Martha, with Alexis in tow, went to catch up with Kate. "Kate, Kate, slow down." Kate stopped and turned on Martha as if to yell but froze when she saw what was before her. She was acting as if she was the only person that was hurting and confused right now. She most certainly was not.

She saw a mother distraught by the fact that she may have outlived her child, something no one should ever experience. She saw a daughter crushed by the possibility that she would never see her father again. She saw herself reflected in Alexis' face. She immediately reached out for her. After all, Alexis had become like a daughter to her. How could she have ignored her so easily? Castle never would have forgiven her. She just held the girl and let her pour out her sorrow.

After about ten minutes Kate felt her relax and looked to Martha who had been watching the two of them. Martha cleared her throat and said, "We should go back to the house and wait to hear from detective Jefferson."

Kate nodded and held Alexis' face up to look into her eyes. She spoke quietly but firmly. "I am going to figure this out. I promise you." Alexis must have believed her because she felt an immediate reassurance flow through her whole body.

When they arrived back at the beach house, Lanie and the boys were waiting with Jim. When they saw the girls' tear stained faces they knew that something had happened, something awful. Jim went straight to Kate and tried to take away her pain in one of the most comforting hugs ever. When she looked up, he saw a flicker of the same look Kate had right after her mother died and then he knew the true severity of the situation.

Lanie spoke first, "What happened?"

Kate, already hoarse from crying, said "There was an accident and his car ran off the road. It was on fire." Lanie took that to mean he had died as did Ryan and Esposito.

They were all confused as to how Kate was still standing, much less talking when she began again. "He's not dead. I know it. I can feel it. I know that doesn't make any sense but, I just know."

Lanie responded, "It's not as crazy as you think." She opened her arms to her friend as Esposito questioned her, "Did they find a body?"

"Yes but I told the detective not to say anything until after the dental records came in."

Ryan spoke then, "Kate, I know you don't want to think about it, but it was his car and…"

"No!" The whole room fell silent and Kate took a deep breath. "Richard Castle is not dead."

* * *

A/N: So I know this is all over the place but I feel like if Kate thought Castle were dead or thought there was a possibility he was, she would most likely not have her head on straight. Anyway I hope you enjoyed and more to come soon! Review please!  
~SB~


	2. Confusion

"Then where is he?" Ryan acted like it was the most obvious question and really it was. Why hadn't Kate thought about that?

"I… I don't know." Kate was dumbfounded as to where he could possibly be. "I have no idea but I am going to find him."

Kate started as if she were going to leave but Lanie reached for her hand. "Kate, sweetie, I think you should at least change first." Lanie was really trying to distract Kate from leaving and, well it worked… for the moment.

"Yeah, you're right, I should but as soon as I'm done I am going to look for him and all of you can either help me or stay out of my way." Kate immediately went upstairs because she didn't care whether they were going to help her or not.

* * *

Lanie spoke first after she heard Kate's door shut. "What are we going to do? We don't even know that Castle is alive and if he is, where do we even begin to look for him?"

Esposito came to put a reassuring arm around her and she gratefully leaned into him for support. "First thing we should all do is get changed and meet back down here. Whether Castle is dead or not, Kate is going to need our help."

Everyone seemed to agree on this and they all dispersed to prepare themselves for what was certain to be an extensive and emotionally taxing night.

* * *

Kate was standing in front of the mirror and did not realize how much time had passed until Lanie knocked on the door.

"Kate, are you okay?" Lanie tentatively opened the door.

Kate was standing in front of the mirror with makeup smudged all down her face. She was a mess.

"I can't take it off. If I take it off it will really mean I'm not getting married today."

Lanie tried to reassure her, "Just take it off to keep it from getting messed up. You may not get married today but you will someday. Come on, let's get you out of that dress."

Kate unwillingly turned around so that she could undo the zipper. Lanie held the dress as Kate stepped out and hung it back up while she got dressed.

Martha and Alexis joined them after they changed and they all went downstairs together to meet up with the boys.

Just as they arrived downstairs, the doorbell rang. Kate ran to the door and opened it to reveal detective Jefferson.

Kate asked anxiously, "What is it?"

"Ms. Beckett, I don't know how you knew. The body we found in your fiancée's car was not his. The ME identified the body as one of a woman."

"Oh thank God!" Kate didn't mean for it to sound like she had no regard for the dead woman but she was so relieved that it wasn't Castle. But that still didn't answer the question… _Where was Castle?_

"Have you found any sign of him at the scene?"

"The car seemed to have been run off the road and we found evidence that someone was dragged from the driver's seat. We also found evidence that the car was purposely set on fire, probably to buy them time."

Kate was a detective and should have realized what this meant, but she just couldn't think straight. Not when it was Castle. "Buy who time for what?" She sounded entirely confused.

By now the others had gathered in the front room and it was Jim who answered her question. "Katie, I think he is saying someone took Castle."

_No! Why? Why Castle? Who took him? Was he okay?_ A million question raced through her mind as she tried to process everything that had been thrown at her today. Kate took a moment to collect herself and began questioning the detective.

"Did you find anything at the scene to indicate who might have taken him or where they went?"

"There were some tire tracks and shoe prints but I doubt those will give us much of anything."

What could she do? _Think. Think Kate, who would have taken him? Why today? Who knew where he was and how to get to him?_

Ryan and Esposito began discussing with the detective. "What about witnesses? Did anyone see anything?"

"No not that we've found so far. The whole thing seems to have happened rather quickly."

Lanie pulled Kate to a large sofa against the back wall and made her sit. "What are you thinking?"

"I just can't figure out who would do this. Why? If they wanted money, they would've taken me or Alexis. No, it's something else. I don't know what."

"You'll figure it out. But you just need to focus on the fact that he is alive. That's all that matters right now, okay?"

"Okay." Kate really wasn't any closer to reassurance, if anything she was more shaken up.

"Ms. Beckett, I am going back to the precinct. I will let you know when we hear anything. You do the same."

"Okay." By this point Kate was beginning to feel overwhelmed.

The detective left and everyone gathered around Kate both to comfort her and like they were looking for something… direction. Even in this, her most distraught hour, everyone looked to her.

"So, I don't know about you all but I am not going to rely on that guy to find Castle."

Kate received several nods and sound of agreement from the group and continued, "Let's start with what we know." At this, the already exhausted team settled in for the long night that lay ahead. They were not giving up until they found Castle, brought him back, and saw the happing ending that Kate and Castle deserved.

* * *

A/N: So I absolutely love Esplanie and had to throw something in for them. I hope it fit.  
Hope you enjoyed! Leave a review so I know if I'm heading in the right direction!

Thanks,  
~SB~


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